Cuckolding, when we boil it all down to its basic premise, is when the dominant half of a relationship – and because this site deals with primarily female led relationships I’ll use it in that context – decides to take on other lovers with or without the consent of the submissive partner. The cuckold is the submissive partner.
Now let’s look at it in all its individual glory. Those of you who know me know that I hate everything being put in nice, neat little boxes and that I hate the word normal. Cuckolding is as individual as those couples who are participating in it. For the most part though, the male feels inadequate, and usually is from a penis size perspective (remember I’m talking generalities here), and wants to watch his partner have sex with another man who is usually larger, more dominant/alpha and therefore more worthy of his partner than he is.
The key to making cuckolding work for you is to make it totally your own. As a couple you need to agree on parameters that will work for both of you. The keys to success are compromise and communication. Here are some ideas to mull over when you’re considering making cuckolding part of your life.
- Does the cuckold want to watch or just be told about what it was like for the woman to have sex with the other man? Some men want to watch, some men don’t. Some figure that the old green-eyed monster will kick in if they’re in the room during sex. (If that’s the case I’d suggest really thinking it over BEFORE you go ahead with this.) For the cuckold’s who don’t want to watch, being descriptively told about what it felt like, how big the other guy’s cock was, how long the sex lasted etc, works just as well. You may even consider taking your cell phone to the encounter if it’s in a hotel and calling the cuckold at home and letting him listen.
- For those who are watching, will you be allowed to participate in some way? Some cuckolds are tied to a chair at the end of the bed and left there not able to masturbate during the session or they are put in chastity. Some with bi-fantasies are made to suck the alpha male hard first preparing him for his partner. And some cuckolds are allowed to hold his partner’s legs back facilitating entry or even to hold the alpha’s cock and guide it in to her.
- Will the cuckold be humiliated verbally? Many submissive males enjoy being humiliated during a sex session with an alpha male. Either by the alpha male the female or both. Hearing your partner tell you how much better it feels being fucked by a bigger cock, listening to the alpha male say how much he loves being inside of her and that he’d never let anyone fuck someone as beautiful as this etc.
All of these are just ideas to get you started. Remember to make it your own by coming up with your own ideas that work for the both of you.
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My partner and I just started a cuckold relationship, She stayed at a friends apt on Friday evening and had sex with him and told me it was not very good. He wanted her to come back Saturday afternoon ,but we were to be going away on sat . She told me she didn’t think she wanted to be anything but friends with him as she didn’t feel the sex was good enough and he had a much smaller penis than I have. Our plans got changed due to weather. She then told me she thought she wanted to give him another chance. She called him and asked if he still wanted company for the night. He lives about a half an hour from us. I dropped her off at a coffee shop near his apt . I left but didn’t actually leave. I parked at the other end of the lot and waited for him to show and head back to his place. I followed them back to his place then went home. She was to call me later in the evening to let me know what time in the morning to pick her up. When I got home there was a message from her that said she would call me in the morning and that he wanted her to stay on Sunday so they could watch some movies and have sex throughout the day. This was not part of our plans I don’t know what to say about her changing our plans so she can stay and have sex with him, after she told me she didn’t think she wanted to just be friends not fwb. I wanted her to stay for the night , but all day Sunday wasn’t part of the plan. I find it upsets me a bit that she would do this. and change our calling plans like she did. I don’t like being kept in the dark .
Dave,
This life style is based on honesty and trust. Both parties have to respect the limits and boundaries that are set in the beginning It is only My opinion is you both need to sit down and discuss this and come up with a solution.
What effect does cuckolding have on the male lover or “bull” and what effect does it have on the wife? I am thinking specifically when the husband is actually in the room watching, clothed or naked, or tied up so he can’t join in or touch himself, or not tied up?
Often cuckolding is about domination to feel secure. When a man becomes a willing cuckold he submits to his wife. What would make a woman feel more secure and in charge than forcing her man to accept other men fucking her. Many men want to submit to a woman because it makes them feel secure and safe after all many mothers dominate their sons. Women tend to dislike the word dominate and aggressive but many women control their environment and those in it. Femdom just makes it public who is in control while cuckolding expresses the control
I’ve been cuckolding my husband for six years now. It started as an affair (he was clueless at first) because he was neglecting me. When he found out and I refused to end my affair, he got turned on and very attentive again. Eventually the affair ended, and gradually he started neglecting me again. The cycle repeated itself three times.
Now I openly date other men and enjoy it thoroughly. about 85% of my sex life is not with my husband. He has come to accept it and I have no plans to give up other men.
Well done Rebecca, this is how you keep a relationship together. It’s not conventional but who cares.
i like when my wife has a current boyfriend. Makes us better.
Wow! The author described what I want my wife to do to me perfectly!! I am married to a sexy dominant female. I have always fantasized about very powerful woman and me being sort of a wimp, we go very well together!
For me I love it when my wife makes me jealous and fell inadequate and calls me an old man. She then starts degrading me and calling me “husband” and I love it!
I get exited hearing about my wife and what she does with her “big” personal trainer! She tells me everything and then let’s me (you know what) while she is describing it…it turns into the best sex for both of us later.
I want her to punish me and let me watch for real, but we are very careful, and instead she uses a realistic dildo to make me jealous with.
If you are wondering about this, if you don’t like being dominated, if you don’t like being punished and degraded by the right person, it probably is not something you would like.
First, let me say that my wife has been a supportive wife, mother, and grandmother. She takes care of our home, helps me around it and our yard, etc. We also get along well.
It was apparent early in our marriage that she wanted to stray in order to find something that was missing in our relationship. It wasn’t all about sex, in my opinion, but partly because I was perhaps a bit immature in my younger years.
As the years went on, it was obvious she had sexual relationships with several men. I was able to prove it on a couple of occasions. She could not deny those two, but I knew there had been more. A few years ago, I was surfing the web and stumbled onto a ‘cuckold’ site. I searched several and found one written from a doctor’s perspective so as to better understand what would cause a man to put up with an unfaithful wife.
Let me back up a little here……I had years before experimented with being the ‘dom’ while having sex with my wife. However, I always felt something was ‘not right’ while seeing my wife tied up. Something was missing.
The years went on, and wifey had a couple more encounters with other men. I decided to investigate the cuckold sites again. After much reading (mainly the psychologist sites), I came to the conclusion that it was ‘me’ that wanted to be tied up all along. ‘I’ was the submissive one, but never realized it. That was the reason why tying my wife was never fulfilling.
I subsequently went to the dating sites where there was a ‘couples looking for a man’ section. My wife agreed to give it a try, and we had a two year relationship with a man. I usually was bound in the spare bedroom and made to clean my wife after the other man was done.
After that relationship ended, we hooked up with another man (much nicer) who today is seeing my wife once a week. He is well hung both length and girth. My wife is very happy with the relationship, and at least I know who she is with. The only thing is that I am not involved from a submissive side. I enjoy the bondage part, but as long as she is happy, I am fine.
I almost wish the word “cuckold” did not exist. It causes everyone to think that there is a strict definition of a male whose woman is dating other males. After several years of marriage, my husband and I separated. Over the next year and a half I started dating again, and enjoying it. I was over 30 and enjoyed men and sex. What’s wrong with that? Then, my husband lost his job and begged me to let him move back. I did, just to put a roof over his head. And, I needed someone around the house to take care of things while I ran my business full-time. However, I didn’t stop dating, and I let him know about it up front. He was just happy to have a job and a place to sleep at night, so my dating was the least of his worries. Now, over three years later, I’m still enjoying being able to have my cake and eat it, too. Does that make my husband a “cuckold”? Well, I suppose, but I don’t that want that “label” to ruin my arrangement with him. I don’t want his embarrassment over having a label attached to him, challenge his male ego (they all have them, you know) to the point that he feels he has to pack up and leave.
Extremely good point Miss Lisa. Labels when it comes to sex are ridiculous, sex in all it’s forms and glories is all a very grey area anyway. The labels really need to go, unfortunately we as mere mortals all want to belong to something so I don’t see it happening too soon. I personally find the word cuckold distasteful myself. And every couple who indulge literally do it distinctly different from each other so there is no one label that works anyway.
Please can someone help I’m confused I’ve started a online relationship with a guy and both have the same sex fantasy we live so far that’s why the relationship I say online. He can be dominant but loves me sleeping with other people , and finds it a huge turn on but the last time I slept with someone and showed him the real pics gave proof ,details etc , he said gud girl but then went on to tell me how he would be sleeping with a girl that night who has a beautiful body and a big bum ( this is something I don’t have ) it was like he was trying to make me jealous … I don’t understand this ?
Hey Toni! I would expect you to be confused because you’ve not really ironed out the details of your fantasy. What you’re both doing is NOT cuckolding first of all so that will be confusing to you too. It sounds more like he wants an open relationship with you where you both get to have sex with different people which is closer to swinging. HOWEVER!! I will say that it also sounds like he’s trying to dominate you and doesn’t have a clue how to do it right. He probably thought it would be cool to tell you about the chick with the big ass when in fact he just hurt you. You need to tell him that it hurt you because the comment was mean spirited. Pointing out all the things in this babe that you aren’t is just cruel. You need to figure out the parameters of your relationship and have a clear set of rules that applies to both parties and pointing out what other’s have that you don’t have is mean UNLESS the humiliation turns you on but it’s clear that it didn’t. COMMUNICATION TONI, you need to work on that with this dude.
Wow, this has to be the most fucked up comment here. Firstly I never tried or wanted such a relationship as I do not subscribe to the general idea of the big site more fun that the people here believe in nd promote.
But I would never judge a person for this thing and never ever spill their secrets if I know somehow.
What I found wrong about the answer is the fact that there are many people here who are talking about how some want the humiliation and some don’t.
But this person here is telling the woman rhat he was being cruel in describing the other girls body especially the ones she lacks.
Isn’t that what cuckolding is about, the wife fucks another man to either tell him in vivid detail or have him watch tied up or otherwise so that he is humiliated about how his wife loves the bigger one and how much pleasure they are getting from him.
By this shouldn’t it be called an act of cruelty by the woman whether she has him watch live, or listen or be told or shown it later and it is surely about what he doesn’t have?
I’m contesting your idea where you brand it as cruelty when a man is talking of her inadequacy and telling her something he hasn’t done or has done or has plans for.
For the people into this I wanna ask how would they like it if their partner does the same and tells them to watch or being tied up while their guy is doing it with a 20 year old hottie and has her moaning groaning and writhing with the same inadequate tool that they failed him on. Would they lit it happen and enjoy it?
Any man will give up his ego in a second for the woman he really loves. Because when we’re in love the ego never comes in between. Would all the men or women into this like it if the situation was reversed? I’m curious to see how many of us here will have double standards, like the one above branding the guy’s disclosure of a fantasy or plan to be cruel,